isolation and loneliness and pain

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    miss k

    Hi everyone I am new here various health issues that result in chronic pain. I am considering , trying the pacing techniques since most things in the world is shut down at the moment. thought may be a good time for it.

    Any tips of how to start it.?? I already keep a diary for my mental health and am also
    working through a self help book too , so It would need to be something short for me to consistently keep up using the pacing.

    Thanks for any replies and i hope you are all having a low pain day

    lots of well wishes


    Hi miss k, welcome to this site. There some very useful info at top of page in blue just click on something like resources or pain relief.
    sometimes it can be difficult for some with pacing techniques, but I started by things like sit for 5-10 mins then stand and start preparing for dinner or something else for the same amount of time then stop and lie down for 15 mins then sit for 5 mins then have a walk for as long as you can come back lie down and alternating between these through out the day. then overtime gradually increase the time you sit stand ect. and put some gentle stretching and core strengthening exercise in there as well. keep a daiy of each activity, then over time you should find that you can do certain things for longer, but found the times you do each activity does vary from day to day, don’t worry about it. it’s a case of finding a base line of time you can do each activity then when your having a bad day just go back to your base line then slowly build the time of activities back up, it,s a case of balancing activities with resting at the same time so you can do something without raising your pain levels more than your already in.
    Most like myself do some form of art and crafts to keep there minds focused on something in which makes them happy and they enjoy doing. like mine is drawing /painting, wood carving, leather work ,family tree on bad bad days, and swimming once a week which Is out the window at the moment in these difficult times. having some form of hobby I think is important for your mental health, something which starts from nothing to being something is a small achievement whether it’s sewing /colouring pages, anything which makes you happy and you enjoy doing.
    take care and best wishes, Lee

    miss k

    Thanks lee. For your reply
    I am pretty much active with arts & craft sewing etc.I tend to overdo things could just be a personality trait.Did some stretching yesterday for 40 mins which i really enjoyed & thought was gentle , but today ferls like i have been run over by a bus 😒.

    I think i will defo start with having short break & more rests in between too.Will check out the links on here too And re read what you have said .

    Take care


    Hi Kerry, I am the same, most people on here are to, that they find they overdo things now and again and end up with a flare up. just go easy for the next couple of days then start again. it does sometimes feel your going round in circles, it’s just a case of trying to listen to what your body is telling you and stopping an activity before your pain rises. Even now after living with constant pain for 23 years I still think well I’m ok at moment just get this and that finished, then still feel ok, but next day think wish I had stopped when I thought of it. LOL. glad you got hobbies to do it keeps you sane as well as talking to people in a similar position as yourself and understand fully what your talking about. If you have certain things wrong like SI Joint problems ect you can try and search for it in the search forums, top right of this page, a warning it will come up with hundreds of posts that mention what you have entered. but worth a flick through as every one is different and has different ideas of what helps them . Take care and best wishes Lee

    miss k

    Thanks Lee will take on board, what you have said 23 years wow.Thanks again for taking time out to reply, feel much better knowing theres people who understand on here.And that has helped me , Simply rest & not be hard on myself .Have a great day. Doing better today so its definately a case of taking things slowly.I try to remind myself of the story of the turroise and the hair and the turtoise won lol.

    Best wishes


    Hi Kerry, LOL I say that to myself to, I’m the tortoise in life at least we get to see everything rather than running so fast that you miss everything like a chicken running around with no head. It does not matter how long it takes you to do something as long as you achieve it at some point. I dont know how long you been in pain but sorry to say with constant pain comes depression, most of us on here at some point gone through it, it never goes it’s how you learn to live with can creep up on you without you realizing it, its one of the easiest things to slip into and the hardest to get out of, so don’t be afraid to ask for help and talk if you need to.been through counselling, CBT and Mindfulness course the latter 2 were the ones that got me through and gave me tools to carry on. 6 years I battled and 1-1 with a phsyco therapist for a year then went straight into Mindfulness, In a lot better place now than I was that was about 7 -7 1/2 years ago now. so dont ashamed or afraid to talk if feeling low . we all help each other on this site and some like myself been round the system a few times. keep crafting, Take care and best wishes. Lee

    miss k

    yes I was diagnosed with Anxiety then had PTSD symptoms and because I have lower back pain. I kind of thought it was all mental health. Had Anxiety since my teens
    But with some life changing events. I noticed pain was more consistent, and then found myself going back and forth to Gp and being , referred to mental health teams. That
    lasted couple years with no help. yes you quite right about the depression , that has been the hardest part as I know deep down . I am an optimistic person. Its good
    to sort of realise, that depression has a lot in contributing to my pain levels, and my fluctuating moods can vary so widely.

    After repeated visits to mental health services, to be told its Anxiety thats all get on with it go back to work. Was disheartening, to put it midly!!
    Think that part has been more traumatising than the constant pain as took alot for me
    even to accept that i needed help, which was never forth coming with the medical and health professions i came across.

    Anyway its been a couple of years of consistent
    chronic pains. But have lesser symptoms for a longer time, namely the insomnia and muscle aches and bruxism i put down to not sleeping well, and really didnt seek
    help at that point.

    I was able to work full time, and do little else. After 2 years being referred to different health units on and off for 5 plus years.
    I decided it was time to have the diagnostic op, which i did and had other treatments . That
    didnt work. so the mosts help i have got to date is a referral to pain clinic 6 month programme. Where i will be seen by pyscologist etc. I am embracing myself for that
    when the NHS opens back up for other face to face and group appointments. Feel free to share your experiences, with the services you have acessed . I have been out of
    work since 2016 and, only in last few months was doing agency work one to two days per week.

    very good point about really being able to take things in with going slow.I really need to put that more in to practice. I have done a lot of meditation through out the whole process. i have been on a faith
    journey for the past 8 years and found that has been the driving force behind me not completeley giving up tbh. as well as listen to
    motivational talks, people who have overcome adversity. And having a person who i idolise whohas overcome much suffering . Thats helped alot as well as speaking to
    like minded people like yourself.

    I have found it very painful the lack of understanding and have lost friends, due to this chronic pain. i am quite guarded in opening up to people who dont
    know what its like, as sadly i have seen in the past people get to a point where they want you ”to get over it”.

    I have had lots of counselling over year found EDMR quite helpful as well as ACE , not too keen on CBT i find it hugely triggering

    Best wishes


    Hi Kerry, Yes I know exactly where your coming from, Mine was a car accident which I nearly died from fractured/dislocated pelvis and 2 lower spinal ops 8 months apart amongst ribs ect. left with nerve pain/damage, persistent chronic pain now with SIJ problems and arthritis to, also as i had childhood issues and ptsd with other stuff Ive seen and done,but it wasn’t until about 2013 when they changed incapacity benefit over to ESA that it tipped me over the edge and become suicidal. and life jumped up to take a big bite out my backside, you think your dealing with stuff and have dealt with it, but deep down you have not. Only like minded people know how you feel and the frustrations and difficulties with partners and others, that you put up with, Ive had people come up to me and say Oh Ive got terrible back ache, I laugh and they wonder what your laughing at, I just say wish thats all I had a back ache. It’s the nerve pain thats the worse I find.
    With CBT I found that it puts you in difficult situations that you would rather forget but its getting you to process it properly so you are happy and fully understand what your thinking and as you know thinking and pain doesn’t go together very well so it is hard to make proper process of what your going through.and had to break it all down into compartments like dealing with death, dealing with PTSD, understanding your chronic pain ect. rather than the whole lot blasting your brain all at once giving you overload. thats why I also practice Mindfulness meditation and was taught it within a small group rather than trying to learn yourself off the internet. Like I say in a lot better place now.
    Every one is different and what medicines and alternative therapies work for one doesn’t mean it works for you that’s why I tell people to try it all and pick out what methods and meds work for you best , It is a long road but you get there in the end.
    Stay safe, take care and best wishes, Lee

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