Reply To: intimate relationships and chronic pain

[Jane]

As you see many of us have the same problem and it is rotten. The way my husband and I have dealt with it is just to go as far as either of us feels comfortable with (he is afraid of hurting me), and doing VERY gentle massage with scented oils for a little while when you are in least pain. He will love it and it conveys comfort, etc. I agree that the drugs, if you are on any, may be the problem (they are for me) apart from the pain, which is not exactly a turn-on. I’m really sorry you have been landed in this siutation so early in your married life. But it can be lived with and made the best of, differently for everyone. Talk with your husband: he may have ideas. The massage doesn’t sound right to me otherwise, although I completely understand your need to be in shape to work. Since you’ve tried other options I suppose the only thing is to discuss it really frankly (saying just how bad it is) with the practitioner. Who may be able to tweak things just a bit to give you at least some of the weekend back. Good luck.