Reply To: intimate relationships and chronic pain


We had a talk yesterday, to cut a long story short he said that sometimes he comes home and can see i’ve done nothing, i explained that due to my pain (I have cronic regional pain syndrome) sometimes i can’t do anything, it seems that the things i do do on good days goes unnoticed, he said i no longer want to do the things we used to, i had a motorbike accident and the thought of riding my bike again frightens the living daylights out of me, i was hit by a minibus, i had 18 months of counselling (i’ve had 17 operations to help control the pain and now have a spinal implant)but still can’t get on my bike, bikes were our life before my accident, i’m finding new interests which i’ve asked him to join in with, but he won’t, which i pointed out to him, just got a dissinterested look from him! it seems if it’s not HIS interest then he doesn’t want to join in, he does’t seem to undersatnd how ugly i feel i look, i have scars on my back, side and stomach following the spinal implant and you can see and feel the wires in my side and the battery (which is the size of the palm of my hand) in my stomach, i asked him if he could see two naked bodies, one with scars and one without which one would he pick, he said the one without scars, yet he still seemed to have no understanding of why intamacy is hard for me!After a long talk he said ‘I’m starting to sound selfish now so i’ll stop’ don’t think the reality of what HE said sunk in with him though