Lost job now losing marriage

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    Help I haven’t a clue where to go from here i’ve had undiagnosed joint pain for years which has been worse since a nasty virus last November. I tripped at work and twisted my ankle and herniated a disk in my back. Due to taking time off to recover (6 weeks) and difficulty managing when i returned I was “pushed” out of my job. I am awaiting a rheumatology appointment in December which hopefully might shed some light on whatever is causing the constant pain. After a huge row last night my hubby claims i am ruining his life by not being able to have fun. I do try to make the effort despite being tee total due to pain meds and in constant pain. I feel completely trapped I have no income so totally reliant on hubby.


    Jan Sadler

    Hi there, I think many of us on here have found ourselves in a similar situation. It is very hard for others to understand our pain and how it affects our lives. On the PainSupport website there is a lot of information about relationships and pain. Also the site is full of information about how to gain control over the pain and what you can do to help reduce it.

    To make a start, you could take a look in the yellow ‘sticky’ post at the top of the forum titled How to Log In, Forum Features and Useful Links. Here’s a link to it:

    How to Log In, Forum Features and Useful Links

    Inside, scroll down to near the end and you will find links to useful pages such as this one about how to help others understand our pain;

    For those in pain to pass on to family and friends

    Ideally, see if you can get your husband to read the page with you, or print it out so he can read it by himself.

    I hope some of this helps you to overcome this sticky patch you’re going through.

    Come back and let us know how you get on.

    All the very best
    Jan at PainSupport



    Hi Lost30, I am new to this site, and I understand how you feel. I hope since u posted this that things are better for you. I had to give up my job 6 six months ago, and being in pain affects all aspects of your life as well as the people you live with. Take care.



    Hi Lost30, I understand exactly how you feel, I lost my job,years ago and wife still works, and we claim benefits for me. it is and can be very daunting and a minefield to go through. we went through quite some tricky and argumentative stages of the relationship. but if your relationship is a very strong one then you both will get through it, as ours did. I am in constant pain. and going through all this at the same time is very testing on both sides. but years later we have come to except it all as it is, and in fact made our relationship stronger.it will definatly make you a stronger person and might be surprised how strong you really are .where many people today give up as soon as something goes wrong, instead of sitting down and talking it all through. although it can be a lonely road at times while in pain as others do not understand. I found this site which has been very helpful, talking to people in a similar boat and experiences.You will get through this with or without a partner.I hope for you with someone who really cares and loves you. Take care and best wishes. Lee

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